TOEFL作文求批改

TOEFL作文求批改

1行could --can,2行g(shù)ive--gives，fuel后加which 3行proves--prove 4行正確 5行admit--admits
6行think---thinks，dioxide后加which 7.行 think--thinks 8行 fuels--fuel，去掉is 9行 place-places 10行正確 11行 agree--agrees，which--who，think--thinks 12正確 13 continue后加to 14行 fuels--fuel 15行正確 16行 grow--grows，its cost will---will the cost，for--by，
compare---compared 17行正確 18行去掉is，去掉about 19行 正確

托福作文求批改

the bulk of students ：bulk好像一般形容體積吧..就算可以這么說也不應(yīng)該是用the吧，a bulk of
When they choose thecollege to go, most students’ heeds are on the quality of the university’seducation. And I think to enhance....：首先前面最好改成the college they want to go,后半句沒看懂你在說啥。后面這句把a(bǔ)nd去掉，句號后面不能這么接（在正式考試中不行，平時(shí)這么用可以）
Universities can build a more sophisticated lab, equip the classroomwith advanced facilities and so on. 這里的a more sophisicated lab最好改成more sophisticated labs,然后逗號后面加個(gè)and，facilities后面加個(gè)逗號。
But if they do not raise the sage of theprofessors：應(yīng)該是wage吧
all these attempts will not work because, in the first place：這邊斷句有問題。應(yīng)該是....will not work. Because in the first place
onlyby increasing the salaries of professors can they be able to be more dedicatedto the teaching.這里第一個(gè)they最好改成universities，不然有點(diǎn)指代不清。然后你第二個(gè)they指的是教授？也改成professor。把be more去掉。
Currently, the necessary things’ pricesare all rising up,which makes it very hard...：這邊好奇怪= =這樣說會好一點(diǎn)：Currently, the price of necessities is higher and higher, making it very hard...
based onthis, only when the professors have enough money can they be more devoted tothe teaching and...：這邊明顯和前面重復(fù)了啊= =換個(gè)方式說一下
看完了。大致改了一下
恩
有個(gè)比較嚴(yán)重的整體性問題就是你的論點(diǎn)只有一個(gè)：教授工資不夠 這在考試中很難拿到高分 而且你還沒有舉例 不夠specific
稍微注意一下~我覺得至少兩個(gè)論點(diǎn)
托福作文結(jié)構(gòu)大致應(yīng)該是：
開頭
第一個(gè)論點(diǎn)
第二個(gè)
（第三個(gè)）
結(jié)尾段

TOEFL作文求批改。

供參考
取消括弧內(nèi)的字
Many people, believing that sports can only (provide people) provide people with good health and relaxation, maintain that they cannot teach people anything. However, I am in favor of the statement that athletic activities teach us a lot in various aspects.
For instance, sports help us learn about unity. To demonstrate it we can take the football game as an example. The success of a football team depends on how well teammates perform the strategy and how harmonious the cooperation (between) among the members is. If one totally plays alone and never gives another person a single chance to perform in football match, he or she will definitely get exhausted and fail to win, ruining the unity of the team. Thus, we can see from this scenario that only by collaboration will the teammates hold the same goal and then work well to pursue their dream.
Moreover, persistence, another significant element which determines win or loss, is usually what people gain by doing sports. For example, marathon is known as one of the most popular extreme races that challenge human limitation
both physically and mentally. Without (persevering) persisting, one must fail half of the way and receive nothing but regret. I (have) had once (been practicing) practised long-distance running three years ago for my High School Entrance Examinations. I could still recall the time when I ran three thousand miles every day after school, just for training my physical ability. (No matter) No matter whether it was in downpour or (sunschorch) under the scorching sun , (freeze or high) or at a freezing or high temperature, never did I give up running. After all of the torture, I got full scores in the sports examinations and a strong spirit that would not be easily defeated by (setback) setbacks. If we can insist on every task (happens) happening in our life, we will surely succeed at last.
Additionally, sports teach us not to care excessively about the result. (To say another word) In other words, the progress in which we develop ourselves
and obtain friendship is more valuable than a gold medal. It was in last summer when I (go) took tennis training with my best friend Yoyo. At the beginning we (went to tennis matches) took part in mixed doubles matches as (double) partners and enjoyed lying on the tennis court together after training. Nevertheless, getting improved far more quickly than she did, I was not satisfied with just playing in double any more so I asked my coach (to attend match and to train separately) for separate training for single matches. To my surprise, he said〃 You've lost (what) the real pleasure of sport〃. It suddenly dawned on me that I had paid too much attention to win but ignored my pleasure and friendship.
There is definitely no lack of learning opportunity when we are doing sports, but it is us who sometimes lack the awareness to grab it. Sports can teach us more than we imagine if we keep in mind to study at any time.

托福作文求批改～～～

別的不用看，你最后的結(jié)尾就跑題了，人家問的是education，你最后把education 換成university了，總體感覺，你用的詞匯都太低級，像什么useful happy can之類的應(yīng)該全換了，換成高級詞匯~~意思倒是挺明確的，應(yīng)該提高詞匯量，建議第一段，找個(gè)模板試試

toefl作文求批改

這是更好的，具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃aboutone未來或?qū)嶋H計(jì)劃的未來？隨著現(xiàn)代社會的發(fā)展，人們在未來的競爭willface更多。在這個(gè)時(shí)候，比以往任何時(shí)候都扮演著一個(gè)具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃undeniablerole在每個(gè)人的生活，這是哪里，就產(chǎn)生了爭議。Somebelieve，具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃，顯著不遺余力的造福人類toachieve它。同時(shí)，那些不同意引用，切實(shí)可行的計(jì)劃aremore目前我們的寶貴。在與我的任期，前者是morefavorable的。首先，挑戰(zhàn)計(jì)劃motivatepeople更加努力地工作。有一個(gè)具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃的人常常感到的抑制asense，他們知道的唯一途徑下車強(qiáng)烈的感覺ISTO工作很難有一個(gè)光明的未來。生活豐富了，達(dá)哥，suchcases誰是我的室友，有一個(gè)遠(yuǎn)大的理想，是成為areputable科學(xué)家，是一個(gè)勤奮的學(xué)生的數(shù)量。他不會去直到12o'clock到床上，只是審查和獲得新的知識。因此，一個(gè)人achallenging計(jì)劃將鼓勵自己把他們的心投入到工作中。It'schallenging，促使人們有一個(gè)更難的工作計(jì)劃。此外，人們可以得到完成具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃后，一個(gè)betterpayback。在一般情況下，bossesabsolutely欣賞的人員有有意義的目標(biāo)。因此，根據(jù)我的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，他們一定會得到更多的工資比以前。彼得·彼得let'stake經(jīng)驗(yàn)作為實(shí)例，希望是經(jīng)理ofmarking的。他把他的工作的巨大壓力。2個(gè)月后，他取得hisdream，并得到更同意支付比他還只是一個(gè)普通職員。Finishingchallenging計(jì)劃能夠真正為人們提供一個(gè)令人滿意的reward.Last但不implementchallenging計(jì)劃至少為人們提供很大的成就感。我們可以舉一個(gè)例子Tim'sstory，Tim是，步進(jìn)作出的決定，是KOD（繼續(xù)跳舞）bestdancer。他采取了一切努力在theperiod比賽前練習(xí)跳舞。因此，他很高興通知時(shí)，hewas最好波普爾。下面是另一個(gè)例子，回聲，誰是preparingfor的校長職業(yè)是一名教師。在許多學(xué)校，他沒有得到theprofession。他具體地認(rèn)為，他能力是aheadmaster，他一直在尋找他的理想就業(yè)。最終，a大學(xué)欽佩他的信譽(yù)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，蒂姆被聘用。添onthe是世界之巔后的一系列強(qiáng)硬發(fā)生。這是一個(gè)偉大的的意義ofachievement完成具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃，給所有people.All，它具有挑戰(zhàn)性的計(jì)劃，aremore有益的。我堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為，會有越來越多的人在未來havechallenging方案。
這是我自己翻譯的，有許多錯(cuò)字，不分段。

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